My Grief Library

It seems that I am often being asked to recommend books for those who are experiencing grief and loss. I certainly do not claim to be an expert but I have come across a few books that I really appreciate. There have been many that I have found to be less than useful. I am especially surprised at how few good books I've found to help children understand death and grieving. It seems that many books are trying so hard to cast a large net (being politically correct and trying to encompass all belief systems) that they end up serving no one. Having said that, here is my current list of books I've found useful. I'll add more as I find them.

Tear Soup by Pat Schweibert

 Although this is a picture book, I think it is more for adults and older kids. I think it is a great story that helps us all realize that grieving is different for everyone and that you kind of have to make it up as you go. I think this is a great gift for someone who has lost someone close to them. It doesn't go into any detail about death (for all we know the woman making tear soup could be grieving the loss of a pet or even just a big change in her life). It does show that it is ok to tell people to back off and let you grieve in your own way. I really like this book.

Water Bugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney

This is a simple allegory about death. It doesn't attempt to go into detail about the afterlife but it clearly illustrates that there is one and that although we can't see our deceased loved ones, they can see us. This is my favorite of all the kid books we received. I think it is a beautiful allegory and I've become quite intrigued by dragonflies. If you are Christian, this follows doctrine very well. If you aren't a Christian I think it would still resonate.

A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

If you've read this blog much, you'll know quite a bit about this book. It has been a type of guide book for me. In some ways it has been a validation of sorts. I feel completely dysfunctional in one way or another and then I read over parts of this book and I think, "wow, if C.S. Lewis felt this way too I can't be overly dysfunctional." I so appreciate that he didn't gloss over his feelings or anger. He was very raw in his writings because he never planned to publish them. It was a type of exorcism of his grief. I just think it is awesome. I don't know that I would  have been ready to appreciate this book immediately after Phil died. I started reading it about a year or more after he passed and I think that was about right for me. I think this would be a great gift to someone six or twelve months into their grieving.


BOOKS I PLAN TO READ:

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
(I remember reading parts of this for a class my first year of college ... many years ago ... and being very impressed. It will be interesting to read it from my current perspective.)

Divine Signatures: The Confirming Hand of God by Gerald N. Lund
(My mom just gave me this for Christmas. It is how our trials can confirm our testimonies of God and how to find purpose and meaning even in the hard times.)

Widow: Stories by Michelle Latiolais

Widow To Widow: Thoughtful, Practical Ideas For Rebuilding Your Life by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg